The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Hey again!

Over the past 7 months I’ve been keeping pretty regular blogs. The topics vary greatly, but in all of them I constantly mention about how much I’m learning about myself… without actually talking much about what I’ve learned. And when my parents asked me about this the other day, I didn’t really give a great answer. So I decided to dedicate this post to talking about myself and trying to put into words what I’ve learned about me. Wait, really?  A blog post all about you Bernard? Isn’t that kind of…. Egotistical? It very well may be, but I think it will really help me in the journey of self-discovery I’ve embarked on here in Ethiopia. Especially because I won’t just be talking about the good things. I’ll be talking about the bad and the ugly things too.

The Good: I can be a really patient person. You need a lot of patience and flexibilty in Ethiopia, because you’re dealing with a culture that is very, very different from your own. Work is much, much slower, people have completely different social etiquette (that includes lots of staring and no personal bubble), and neither of us can understand each other about 75% of the time. Dealing with that takes a lot of patience, not only with others but with yourself as well. Going from America to Europe is a slight culture shock, but going from America to Ethiopia is a shock equivalent to a lightning strike. You’re not ready, you didn’t know it was coming, and oftentimes you find yourself babbling incoherently while everyone stares at you.

The Bad: I’m not a good housekeeper. Cleaning, cooking, and maintaining the house was never something I had to do all by myself before (I always had roommates or family), so I didn’t realize how much work it was. I knew how to do all these things (though clearly I didn’t know how to cook well), but to have to do them every day by yourself kinda sucks. I always loved my mom and I knew she worked hard, but this has definitely allowed me to see mothers everywhere in a new light.

The Ugly: The patience I mentioned earlier does not exist when little children are around. I’m getting better, but for the first 6 months I occasionally wanted to go on a Halo-esque killing spree when the little kids in the town annoyed me. Every time the 5 year old in my compound so much as looked at me wrong, I considered accidentally locking her out of the compound one night and hoping the hyenas found her before her mom did.

The Good: I’m pretty good at learning languages and adjusting to other cultures. Learning Tigrena has been tough, but I am incredibly proud of the progress I’ve made since I got here in October. A year ago, I didn’t even know this language existed, and yet today I can actually tell people that in Tigrena. Plus, I’ve really adapted well to Ethiopian culture, and can even handle the things I’m not super comfortable with. I do have to say that this is probably no real testament to my skill. I was really lucky in that I was raised in a bilingual house and moved a lot when I was little. I was exposed to these things from an early age, which probably helped me considerably.

The Bad: I’m really good at doing nothing. I’m not sure what it is, but I just can’t seem to do productive things with my time (outside of work). I have SO much free time here in Ethiopia that you would think after four months I would have picked up a constructive hobby or two. But that’s not the case. Sometimes at the end of the day when I look back trying to figure out what I did all day, I realize the only accomplishment I can really chalk up is that I finished another season of Friends.

The Ugly: I’m really out of shape. Now, Ethiopia is much higher up than where I lived in Texas, so I was going to lose some endurance regardless. But even so my condition is ridiculous. Since I’ve been here I’ve had a number of things point out how bad it really is. During IST, I got last place in a push-up contest. Before that, I helped push a horse cart about 100 feet up a hill and had a cough the rest of the day because of it. And to top it all off, I tried to start Insanity once, a really intensive workout program that’s all about keeping track of how much you’ve improved… In a lot of the exercises, the people in the video’s improvements were higher than what I could do in the first place!!! It’s sad really. But you know what the absolute worst part is? Ask me if this pitiful display has actually inspired me to work out yet. Because it hasn’t.

The Good: I am not a quitter. I never noticed this before, but when I commit myself to something I do it. I have committed the next two years of my life to Peace Corps and it is simply not an option for me to quit. Even on my worst days, when I’m annoyed with people here, bored out of my mind, and really, really missing my family and friends back in the states, the thought never crosses my mind that I should quit. I wanted to come here, and I am going to see it to the finish. And of the things within my control, there’s nothing that will prevent me from doing it big.

The Bad and The Ugly: Frankly, I could go on forever in these two categories. In the interest of staying positive (and also for my own self esteem), let’s just end on a good note, eh?

So that’s just a few of the major lessons I’ve learned since I’ve been here. The list could go on and on, but I just wanted to give you some insight on how Peace Corps has enlightened me. I feel so much more in tune with myself and confident in who I am here, and I’m so grateful that I decided to embark on this grand adventure. It’s been one of the greatest decisions of my life.